I was reading my journals over the past week and had came to realise that whenever I'm doing something that I know is out of God's will, everything will seem all good for that moment but come crashing down later on. I'll then think that I have learn my lesson and repeat the same mistakes again. Selfish desires are always my temporal fix to my longing for something more. Ugh, how annoying.

I am going to write it out in words today that I am going to align myself to His will and when the time is right, I will reap the rewards and the promises will be all the more sweeter. Going through the pain is just so not worth it.

On a side note, I think I might have contracted the swine flu (every flu I get is assumed to be swine flu by me so this is no big deal). It's like a lingering sickness that won't go away. Got this cough that makes me throw up and a throat that making my voice disappear bit by bit. Help me! And I don't have Medicare so I'm contemplating if I should visit the doctors to get myself some antibiotics.